What Letting Go Has Taught Me…

After a long week, I took some time to just reflect on life and where I’ve progressed to since the year began. I realized something about myself. Many of the persons I had started the year with, has disappeared. This made me pause and reflect on how I felt about their disappearance. I realized I was okay.

A few months ago, I wrote a post about keeping persons to your standards. A confession, sometimes I write very good advice but I am generally the last to take it. What do they say about the counsellor? They need the most counseling… For weeks after that post, I would find myself getting annoyed with myself when people walked all over my standards and I kept them around. Frankly I was miserable and I decided to actively do something about it. I must say that once you begin to stand up for yourself, you will be amazed how quickly persons either pulled up their socks or disappeared.

Some of these persons tried to reappear later but I stuck to my mantra and eventually they would leave for good once they realized what I now stood for. I can’t moan about the disappearing acts, frankly, good riddance.

Another thing that changed was that I stopped allowing persons to drag me into their drama. I am a regular Miss-Fix-It. Maybe that is why I make such a good Project Manager… It is simply amazing how much energy it takes to deal with other persons’ drama. What makes it worse is when sometimes, these are the persons who you can never depend on. It made me wonder, what was the use, if these persons were only in your life to drain you. Now, whenever I want to say something or intervene, I beg the Lord to hold my tongue or simply walked away.

My final habit that changed was my “Superwoman mentality”. This on many occasions caused me to burn out and persons often took advantage of my inability to say “no”. I have begun to say “no”. Frankly, it feels good to be able to have time to myself and be able to do the things that I want to do. This meant that a lot of people walked away once they realized I was no longer available to be twisted around their fingers. Frankly, that set leaving was a breath of fresh air.

Friendship, I found, is never about quantity. It’s simply the quality. I would rather have a few good friends who look out for me than an entire army of friends whose actions are a guarantee to my destruction. I prefer to walk into my peace. Don’t you agree? Let me know your thoughts on the subject in the comments area below.

XOXO,
Chañel.

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What Do You Say About You?

On my first solo business trip, I had several experiences that made me realise something integral. I’ve always spoken about the fact that I am interested in doing all the good I can before I die. Why? I am deeply interested in shaping what I will be known for. In my first solo week-long trip, I realised that your actions can say a lot about you.
One of the things, I am very purposeful in doing is ensuring that I sincerely thank whoever serves me. This, sometimes, resulted in me internally cringing when I realise that throughout the course of a meal, I end up telling the waiter/waitress, thank you for:

  1. Pouring my water
  2. Taking my order
  3. Bringing my order (multiple times if the meal has multiple courses)
  4. Asking if I am ready for the bill
  5. Bringing the bill
  6. Processing my payment
  7. Removing my dishes

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Speak in Haste, Repent at Leisure

While I am a very laid back individual, I happen to have a temper button that few people know how to hit the right way. Over the last few years, I must admit that I have become a bit complacent as I went through life without coming across anyone who disturbed my gratifying peace.

The last two weeks found me under some immense stress. A lot of things were happening on all levels of my life and I had began short-changing myself in order to get them done. I felt weary and out-of-sorts. This was when the attack came.

Someone made some really snarky comments to me. In the moment, I read, put in the to-be-processed-at-a-later-date queue and went on with my life. That later date came Sunday morning, I re-read and felt annoyed to my core. I tapped out a response in seconds. Now let’s just say, when the old me (the fool) gets mad, her aim is generally to wind the other person up and make them madder by telling then the truth in blunt terms in a condescending manner. The old me (the fool) emerged in scathing form and succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. This verse was proven true in a negative way:

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. – Proverbs 25:11

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Shut Up and Act!

 

 

“Talk is CHEAP” is something my mentor used to tell me constantly. Actions have always spoken louder than words. In fact, if you think about it, the man generally feared is the one who metes out the judgement barely promised. He is the one who generally is considered deadly because his actions line up with his words.

 

When I was a child, I loved but feared my father. He wasn’t a man who spoke a lot. He would perhaps give a warning look or speak once in a calm voice if I was misbehaving. This was the total opposite of my mom who talked, threatened and warned a lot. My dad was the greater fear because he was the unknown force whose talk meant something.

When you do a lot of talking about your dreams and carry out no actions towards fulfilling them, you are like the little mongrel dog with a lot of noise and no bite. He will make a lot of noise when you approach his  gate but the moment you open it or raise your hand is the moment he takes off. Are you always just talking about your dreams? Where is the action towards fulfilling them? Do you run from or start to make excuses why you can’t take a presented opportunity? It is past time you move to the biting stage. The gates have been open, surely you don’t need God or anyone to push you through. You can reach you goals. It is time YOU STOP TALK THE TALK AND WALK THE TALK.image

XOXO
Chañel

A Ziplining Lesson

Recently, I went on a work trip. Part of the trip took us to Y.S. Falls where I tried 5 ziplines for the first time. Like any first experience of that active nature, I didn’t quite know how to feel but as the experience continued, I picked up a couple lessons on the way.

Before we could start, we were locked into the relevant gear including helmets. As we stood waiting for all our team members to be geared-up, we had a couple of persons who had done it already and they were the ones who tried to alleviate some of our fears. However, in talking, these were the ones who made facing the experience even more fearful.My level of fear was slowing vamping up as I stood listening. I realised then that whilst God has not given me a spirit of fear, fear could be found within the uncertainty of excelling at the unknown and from external factors like well-meaning individuals. At that point I stopped listening and told myself that I could do it.

The walk to the first zipline was long especially since I haven’t done any exercise in months. Again I found myself wavering as my lungs struggled for air and my knees protested and threatened to buckle. Just when I was about to give in to my wavering mind and protesting body, I reached the top and it was beautiful! From this experience, another lesson emerged. The hardest step to fulfilling your dream is the preparation stage to beginning. Sometimes everything will seem to be against you as you try to put things in place. You may even consider giving up but if you hold out, your destination (starting point) will be incredibly beautiful. With everything in place, you will be filled with an incredible pride and satisfaction as you stand on the brink of conquering the world.

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The Serpent (Devil) is Still Active

I just want to share with you something that the Lord revealed to me while I was praying last night. I was a bit astounded when He opened my eyes but first let me give you some background information.

Over the past few months I have had a couple of dreams/visions featuring snakes. In one dream, I woke from a Saturday afternoon nap and when I looked down on my bedside carpet, a nest of snakes just moved around on the carpet in a perfect circle in sync.

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God is interested

I always find it so amazing when God pays attention to the little things in my life. It makes me realize just how much He cares about His relationship with us! Can you just imagine it? Having someone who listens to all your thoughts and worries and acts on them? It is incredible!

A few mornings ago, I got in a taxi. I didn’t pay much attention to who was inside because the taxi-stand was packed and I was more focused on getting to work on time.

When the taxi pulled away it took me a while to take stock of who I was commuting with. When the thought surfaced, I realized I was in a taxi with four men! The driver and three other male passengers! To make matters worse, I happened to be in the middle of the backseat.

Now I’m not the panicky sort but the moment the realization hit me, I grew uncomfortable. The thought, hoping for another female passenger flit through my mind. About 10 seconds later, the taxi stopped. The male in the front passenger seat got off and a female passenger got on.

Amused, I found myself asking the Lord if He couldn’t have let me complete the thought. To this He replied, “Well you asked.”

Isn’t God incredible! It was so great to be reminded that He cares about the little nitty-gritties of my life.When I’m sad, He is there! When I’m anxious, He is a constant presence!

My Daddy is ALWAYS INTERESTED!

XOXO,
Chañel.