Speak in Haste, Repent at Leisure

While I am a very laid back individual, I happen to have a temper button that few people know how to hit the right way. Over the last few years, I must admit that I have become a bit complacent as I went through life without coming across anyone who disturbed my gratifying peace.

The last two weeks found me under some immense stress. A lot of things were happening on all levels of my life and I had began short-changing myself in order to get them done. I felt weary and out-of-sorts. This was when the attack came.

Someone made some really snarky comments to me. In the moment, I read, put in the to-be-processed-at-a-later-date queue and went on with my life. That later date came Sunday morning, I re-read and felt annoyed to my core. I tapped out a response in seconds. Now let’s just say, when the old me (the fool) gets mad, her aim is generally to wind the other person up and make them madder by telling then the truth in blunt terms in a condescending manner. The old me (the fool) emerged in scathing form and succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. This verse was proven true in a negative way:

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. – Proverbs 25:11

Continue reading

Relationship Security should be the New Rage

I had a conversation with one of my best friends the other day. During this conversation we touched briefly on the fact that while I was heading towards broke, he was at broke. When I heard, I had no qualms or reservations about offering my aid until he got paid. What struck me was his reply, “No man, I’m good. *Name of fiancée* has got me.”
You can just imagine my wide-eyed response. I was shocked! I found myself musing over that response for a few days and even now I am still shocked by it.

I have always said that I would never choose a partner on the basis of his wealth. In fact, I can honestly say that I find the idea of gold-digging quite distasteful. Having a partner who you know has you locked spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially, if needed or he/she wants to, should be the rage.

Continue reading

First Crushes and Loves

Today, at lunch, a conversation about giving the bird and the bees talk turned into our outrageous actions done in the name of primary school crushes. I found myself fondly remembering my first crush.

I was a nine-year old who had just moved to a new area. Moving meant leaving all my friends behind and starting a new school after sitting out almost half the school year at grade two. I remember feeling really awkward and missing my friends terribly on my first day as a grade three student in a new school.

It was around the time when I was getting really familiar with the school that I noticed M. There shouldn’t have been anything special about him. He was just an ordinary boy from a different class. An ordinary boy who did one thing. He made my heart pound just a bit faster. Out of principle, I took to avoiding him because frankly I didn’t like anything that I couldn’t understand. I certainly didn’t understand my reaction to him!

Continue reading

Shame! Shame! Shame!

Have you ever felt rejection? Have you ever been metaphorically slapped in the face by shame over the way someone made you feel? Have you ever been made to squirm in your chair as you listened to someone talk about you in such a condescending manner that grated?

Does anyone come to mind as you read this? How did that rejection make you feel? Small? Unworthy? Unwanted? Unloved? Angry? Embarrassed? Do you still mentally squirm when you remember the moment? Do you still feel angry or upset over the way that person made you feel?

How about you? Have you been loving your neighbor as yourself? Have you ever made someone feel the way you have felt? Have you ever rejected someone? Intentionally? Unintentionally? Maybe taken a person’s love or hero worship and just crush it with a look, a laugh or even a word?

Does anyone come to mind as you read this? Perhaps a person you considered beneath you? A stranger? Someone who had a crush on you? Or maybe Jesus? What about Jesus?

It takes a lot for someone who loves you, to not want to be around you anymore. It takes a lot. A lot of hurt! A lot of rejection! A lot of disrespect! A lot of rejection! It takes a lot for Jesus to reach the point where He will one day say:

Depart from me, I know you not!

Have you rejected Him? Have you rejected others? Shame! Shame! Shame!

It’s a lot of food for thought isn’t it?

XOXO,
Chañel.

Really? But I Don’t Want To!

I recently had a fight with an acquaintance. We both have strong personalities and let’s say, when we disagreed, we ended up in a cycle of being stubborn and wanting to win. None of us wanted give in, lose or be wrong. We were both too full of pride. Following this, we both walked away.

A few days after that fallout, I came across something, that I knew upon reading, that the person would be interested in. Now don’t get me wrong, I wanted to pass it on but my pride spoke quite loudly, “if you send it, the person may feel that you are giving way or chasing them.” I hated that thought and so the internal debate began.

After an hour, the debate was no closer to a close. I decided to ask God for His input using the Gideon technique. Going to bed, my two options to Him were:

  1.  Send: Wake me before 5am ( I was tired enough to sleep the entire night.)
  2. Don’t send: Let me sleep without waking throughout the night.

Continue reading

Emotionally-Unavailable is NOT AVAILABLE

image

An encounter with a friend this weekend raised something in my mind. I am confused! Why do females always try to change a male’s mind? This is something that seems to be in females’ make-up, we always believe that we can change a man’s mind! The fact is, this doesn’t always work out so well for us and we are left holding a crap hand of cards.

“If a man tell you that he is not ready for a relationship; believe him the first time.” – Steve Harvey.

Life is too short to waste time trying to change a man’s mind. It is my firm belief that a man shouldn’t need help knowing if he wants you or not. If he tells you that he isn’t ready for a relationship, believe him, no matter his reasoning. I’ve seen cases where the man is still hanged-up over his ex. Do you know what that makes him? It makes him emotionally-unavailable! While I applaud you females for thinking you can make him emotionally-available or change his mind, aren’t you forgetting your value and all your self-worth that you will probably have to sacrifice if you fail?

Continue reading

A man after God’s own heart

image

I don’t know about you guys but this summer seems to be the engagement season! I turn my back for a few seconds and by the time I turn around, I hear that another friend or acquaintance is married! Okay, okay, maybe I’m exaggerating but you get the point.

In recent times, I’ve not been really concerned about marriage but this season have found me giving the entire institution some thought. This is due primarily to the fact that persons have suddenly seen it fit to constantly remind me that I am now nearer to 25 than 20 and thus, I needed to get cracking.

As I knelt praying, early Monday morning, I found myself thinking about how my perception of my perfect guy has changed over the years. When I first discovered guys, I envisioned my ideal husband to be all looks and no substance. I had it all planned and nothing else mattered as long as we both looked good. As I grew older, I started to realize that the substance mattered and my prayer changed to focus not so much on looks but more on his substance and character. By this point it was all about WHAT I WANTED.

Continue reading