Maternal Instincts Re-Instated?

Today I had a moment. No, it was not just a moment, it was an epiphany of a moment. You know, like the epiphany of moments that probably resulted in J.K. Rowling visualizing the Harry Potter series while broke and on her way home on a train? Now I had a epiphany of a moment today which totally opened my eyes to exactly how I feel about kids.

My mom had my youngest brother when I was seven years old. To me, he was my first child. I fed him. I changed him. I gave him baths. I combed his hair. I punished him. I comforted him when he was hurt. I helped him with his homework. I chastised him out when he is rude. We have our movie nights. He is very protective of me. He is my baby! Sure I didn’t give birth to him but he is still mine.

I don’t know how or when it happened but somewhere along the way I grew scared of babies. I had mental panic attacks when I held them and so, couldn’t hold them for long. No matter how cute they were, I preferred them big. I hated the thought of giving birth and found myself vowing I would only have one unless I ended up with twins. I couldn’t imagine having anymore. If I was honest to myself, I would have realized in that moment that I was fine not giving birth to any. I only started making those vows because it was what persons expected me to say. They had no meaning behind them.

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A Jigsaw Puzzle

As a child, I was fascinated with solving jigsaw puzzles. I would spend hours matching pieces just to see the whole picture. Even today, though I am no longer an ardent player, I still spend time playing the jigsaw app on my laptop.

Have you ever noticed just how nicely two pieces will fit when they are meant for each other? I mean you don’t have to deal with the stress of squeezing the end of one into the hole of the other. They just fit in a way that takes the process one step closer to solving the problem and making the picture much better.

How many of your relationships have been like? You meet persons and they just fall neatly in place. I have many friends who came into my life like that. Even now if I don’t see or talk to them for years, when we meet again, it’s like no time has passed. That is how your relationships should be. You shouldn’t have to force it. If you have a friend which you have to continually fight to keep, maybe that friendship shouldn’t be. If you are in a relationship in which every day feels like a battlefield, maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.

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A Contemplation Upon Ants – Move With Purpose

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It is often strange, the things you can be inspired by. I had the opportunity to observe some ants the other day and they, God bless their little hearts, reminded me of the importance of living and moving with purpose.
It was a windy, sunny, spring Saturday morning in Jamaica yet while many humans remained in bed, these ants were busy at work. I can only imagine what I would have seemed like to them. Perhaps a giant who had the power to crush them without a care but yet still they moved with purpose.

Their nest was to the east, the wind blew in the opposite direction. Ant after ant moved in every direction in their search for food. Then, despite the strong wind, they struggled home. When the wind became too much, they band together and made it home. They even employed this method when the load found was too heavy for one. They never slowed their pace.

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Who’s Your Daddy

Watching this video has reminded me how great God has been in my life. My earthly Daddy failed me many times before he passed but my heavenly Daddy…man, my heavenly Daddy has always had me in His arms and my best interests at heart.

He healed when I was sick. He provided when I had no money for college. He got me through college while working. He gave me a job that is teaching me a lot and helping me to define exactly what I want to do. He has been my joy, my peace, my grace, my comfort. He has always been a listening ear and constant presence. Even when I’ve have been a total brat, He still loves and cares for me. He my strong support. He is my strength. The summary? He is all that and a bag of chips. Much better than white bread and chocolate.

Who is my Daddy? My Heavenly Father, Jesus.

XOXO
Chañel

LISTEN…God Speaks

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For the past few months, I had felt somewhat frustrated with God. He seemed to be giving everyone but me a word. Sometimes I would be in church and while the preacher preached I would literally be arguing with God, begging for a personal word.

Don’t get me wrong. God speaks to me. Sometimes while reading a verse, a thought drops in my head and I send it by broadcast to quite a number of people who would be blessed. Sometimes in the middle of an experience or my day, a word, song or lesson drops in my spirit and I blog about it or I send another broadcast, all with the same results. But with all of these words, none felt personal. In short, overlooking the fact that He is there for me, I felt like God had neglected me.

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Not everyone is doing IT…

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As I was getting ready for work this morning, the Bible story about Elisha complaining to God about him being the only one in Israel who haven’t bowed to Baal came to me. What resounded in my head was God’s reply.

Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.
1 Kings 19:18

We live in a world where sometimes it seems like everyone is doing IT and we are the only ones not doing IT. This I admit can be pretty lonesome especially when we begin to feel pressured to do IT. What is the IT you ask? The IT is all the things you know you shouldn’t be doing for various reasons whether they are societal or personal reasons.

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It is time to leave your comfort zone

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A year ago, I reached a place where I felt like I wasn’t growing. I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere. I felt stagnant. I had dreams and visions in mind but I saw no fit manner to achieve them. I was doing so much but I felt as though what I was reaching for was always just outside my reach and no matter how far I stretched, my aim always eluded me. I had grown stagnant in my professional, personal and spiritual life and this stagnancy sucked me in almost as though I was standing in quicksand.

It is strange but have you ever noticed that when you have worn out a plot of land, you have to leave it for another plot and give it time to recuperate? It is the same with life. Sometimes we have to leave our comfort zone, what is familiar to us, and move afar from the shore. I was just reading of how the disciples of Jesus left their comfort to pursue a ministry that was hard and it is for this that they are remembered, for this that they gained the greatest prize of all, salvation.

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