I will wait for you

For the past few weeks, much to my chagrin, I’ve found myself in a couple conversations that run along the lines of:

Person: Hi!

Me
: Hey what’s up long time don’t seen!

Person
: Girl, you nuh married yet? When you planning to tie the knot?

Me
: *speechlessness*

OR 

Random Person: Girl you so busy chasing you career, yuh no want a man?

Me
: Obviously I am sporting a “I NEED A MAN” sign that I’m not aware of.

It seems persons are under the impression that this is the 1800s and so, if at 23, I don’t have a man in the wings or I am not preparing to get married and heralding the bells, I am weird and abnormal.

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First Crushes and Loves

Today, at lunch, a conversation about giving the bird and the bees talk turned into our outrageous actions done in the name of primary school crushes. I found myself fondly remembering my first crush.

I was a nine-year old who had just moved to a new area. Moving meant leaving all my friends behind and starting a new school after sitting out almost half the school year at grade two. I remember feeling really awkward and missing my friends terribly on my first day as a grade three student in a new school.

It was around the time when I was getting really familiar with the school that I noticed M. There shouldn’t have been anything special about him. He was just an ordinary boy from a different class. An ordinary boy who did one thing. He made my heart pound just a bit faster. Out of principle, I took to avoiding him because frankly I didn’t like anything that I couldn’t understand. I certainly didn’t understand my reaction to him!

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Let your eagle SOAR!

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About a year ago someone hugged me tightly and said, “You know what you remind me of? An eagle! Girl, go forth and whatever you do, spread your wings and soar!” At the time I didn’t think much of it but as I sit back and do some introspection, I can truly say that God has been demonstrating to me how to unfurl and use my wings.

One thing I have learned is that God allows every incident in your life to happen to teach/prepare you. A few years ago I had a bad case of stage fright whenever I spoke in public. I also felt that my ability to write had been nullified. I was left empty. But this is something you need to know. Sometimes, when God intends to bless you, He slowly empties you. He begins to remove any impediments to your blessing. Only then will He begin to fill you up.

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Overcoming is Possible!

I still remember my first major habit or should I say addiction. Sucking my fingers! Anywhere I went, I could be seen with my fingers in my mouth. My mother had already moved past the stage where she had threatened, cajoled and expressed despair at this unhealthy habit but I didn’t care one bit. My fingers were my comfort, they were my go-to and I wasn’t going to stop! Dirty and unhealthy or not!

Something happened the year I turned 12. I decided I was a big girl and needed to stop. I came to that decision and need for action all on my own. From that experience, I can definitely say that I underwent the whole withdrawal symptoms from drugs. I would break out in cold sweats when the need arose to stick my fingers in my mouth but I refrained. Sometimes, refraining meant sitting on my hand but I was determined to win the battle between my mind and my will. It took me months but eventually, I won and the urge to stick my finger in my mouth went away. Now I wonder how crazy I was to ever have had that disgusting habit.

My second case of bad habit was a relationship which began when I was 17. Although, over time things soured, I was intensely involved in the situation and thus, my mind refused to let go. “You can change him.” “Things will get better.” These were some of the thoughts my mind told me as I experienced some of the most miserable days of my life.

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You are who you are because of yesterday.

 

A few weeks ago, God dropped this thought into my spirit “you are who you are because of yesterday”. I wrote the thought down in my phone and left it there. Last night as I was browsing through the phone, I came upon the thought. This time, I asked, ” God, how do you want me to expound on this thought?” As I was about to fall asleep, Job came to mind, so tonight I will be talking about Job.

You know Job, the man who God was really proud of but allowed the devil to test his faith. I can’t even how imagine how Job felt as one by one he got news of his various misfortunes. Children killed. Cattle and possessions stolen. House destroyed. Misfortune after misfortune, all in ONE DAY. And if that wasn’t bad enough, his health went, then his wife and finally, his friends.

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Watch the Pieces Fall in Place

I must first apologize for not posting anything since the beginning of the year. This lack is not due to the fact that I didn’t have anything to say. Rather, it is a direct result of feeling off whenever I put pen to paper or in this case, fingers to my keyboard. As a result I have a lot of posts awaiting completion.

It is strange how we generally start the new year with high expectations. We have all these resolutions that we say without doubt that we are going to complete. Oftentimes we complete none. This year, I have only one. I have no other goals because I had began to feel like I lack vision in terms of where I want to be. Although I have ideas, these were just ideas in the general sense with no specifics. This, in many ways, is not a good sign especially when it comes to me.

This year my focus involved taking a page from David’s book and watching the pieces fall into place. My one point plan is simple:

Get Closer to God and Watch the Pieces Fall in Place.

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