What Letting Go Has Taught Me…

After a long week, I took some time to just reflect on life and where I’ve progressed to since the year began. I realized something about myself. Many of the persons I had started the year with, has disappeared. This made me pause and reflect on how I felt about their disappearance. I realized I was okay.

A few months ago, I wrote a post about keeping persons to your standards. A confession, sometimes I write very good advice but I am generally the last to take it. What do they say about the counsellor? They need the most counseling… For weeks after that post, I would find myself getting annoyed with myself when people walked all over my standards and I kept them around. Frankly I was miserable and I decided to actively do something about it. I must say that once you begin to stand up for yourself, you will be amazed how quickly persons either pulled up their socks or disappeared.

Some of these persons tried to reappear later but I stuck to my mantra and eventually they would leave for good once they realized what I now stood for. I can’t moan about the disappearing acts, frankly, good riddance.

Another thing that changed was that I stopped allowing persons to drag me into their drama. I am a regular Miss-Fix-It. Maybe that is why I make such a good Project Manager… It is simply amazing how much energy it takes to deal with other persons’ drama. What makes it worse is when sometimes, these are the persons who you can never depend on. It made me wonder, what was the use, if these persons were only in your life to drain you. Now, whenever I want to say something or intervene, I beg the Lord to hold my tongue or simply walked away.

My final habit that changed was my “Superwoman mentality”. This on many occasions caused me to burn out and persons often took advantage of my inability to say “no”. I have begun to say “no”. Frankly, it feels good to be able to have time to myself and be able to do the things that I want to do. This meant that a lot of people walked away once they realized I was no longer available to be twisted around their fingers. Frankly, that set leaving was a breath of fresh air.

Friendship, I found, is never about quantity. It’s simply the quality. I would rather have a few good friends who look out for me than an entire army of friends whose actions are a guarantee to my destruction. I prefer to walk into my peace. Don’t you agree? Let me know your thoughts on the subject in the comments area below.

XOXO,
Chañel.

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Shame! Shame! Shame!

Have you ever felt rejection? Have you ever been metaphorically slapped in the face by shame over the way someone made you feel? Have you ever been made to squirm in your chair as you listened to someone talk about you in such a condescending manner that grated?

Does anyone come to mind as you read this? How did that rejection make you feel? Small? Unworthy? Unwanted? Unloved? Angry? Embarrassed? Do you still mentally squirm when you remember the moment? Do you still feel angry or upset over the way that person made you feel?

How about you? Have you been loving your neighbor as yourself? Have you ever made someone feel the way you have felt? Have you ever rejected someone? Intentionally? Unintentionally? Maybe taken a person’s love or hero worship and just crush it with a look, a laugh or even a word?

Does anyone come to mind as you read this? Perhaps a person you considered beneath you? A stranger? Someone who had a crush on you? Or maybe Jesus? What about Jesus?

It takes a lot for someone who loves you, to not want to be around you anymore. It takes a lot. A lot of hurt! A lot of rejection! A lot of disrespect! A lot of rejection! It takes a lot for Jesus to reach the point where He will one day say:

Depart from me, I know you not!

Have you rejected Him? Have you rejected others? Shame! Shame! Shame!

It’s a lot of food for thought isn’t it?

XOXO,
Chañel.

The Epiphany of a Lifetime

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I must say that I had the epiphany of a lifetime yesterday. I mean, this is the kind of enlightenment that makes you want to cry and rejoice all at once. Man I don’t even know which one to do first. All I can say is that God is truly incredible!

Let’s get into the meat of the matter. If you have been following my blog for quite a while, you will remember how I was bitching from last year into a few months ago about a guy who had done some serious damage to my self-esteem and emotional stability. I haven’t been complaining about him lately because, this butterfly had been learning to fly again and enjoying life afresh.

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23rd Birthday Musings

Yesterday I saw this post in Facebook feed.

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This was a post I had written on my last day as an eighteen year old. I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this but it captured a piece of me that have been simmering for some time since then. I’m still smiling, still have a temper when I’m ready (though it has been honed) and Jesus and I are still having fun but I’m no longer as childish as I was then. Growing up does that to you.

Wow year 22 has ended and year 23 has begun. I can’t help but think of all the changes that I’ve undergone since year 18. I finished high school and university and changed jobs, said goodbye to my childhood and met and changed many friends. Hot potatoes! That’s a lot of changes but I learned a lot a long the way and for that I am grateful:

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