What Do You Say About You?

On my first solo business trip, I had several experiences that made me realise something integral. I’ve always spoken about the fact that I am interested in doing all the good I can before I die. Why? I am deeply interested in shaping what I will be known for. In my first solo week-long trip, I realised that your actions can say a lot about you.
One of the things, I am very purposeful in doing is ensuring that I sincerely thank whoever serves me. This, sometimes, resulted in me internally cringing when I realise that throughout the course of a meal, I end up telling the waiter/waitress, thank you for:

  1. Pouring my water
  2. Taking my order
  3. Bringing my order (multiple times if the meal has multiple courses)
  4. Asking if I am ready for the bill
  5. Bringing the bill
  6. Processing my payment
  7. Removing my dishes

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Not everyone is doing IT…

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As I was getting ready for work this morning, the Bible story about Elisha complaining to God about him being the only one in Israel who haven’t bowed to Baal came to me. What resounded in my head was God’s reply.

Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.
1 Kings 19:18

We live in a world where sometimes it seems like everyone is doing IT and we are the only ones not doing IT. This I admit can be pretty lonesome especially when we begin to feel pressured to do IT. What is the IT you ask? The IT is all the things you know you shouldn’t be doing for various reasons whether they are societal or personal reasons.

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The Fears of Yesterday

All of us, as human beings, have tasted the frightening effects of fear. The sad part is that some of us allow the fear to dominate us to the point where we don’t even try the things we have wanted the most and thus, it cripples and prevents us from being the best versions of ourselves. One quote that I’ve kept constantly in my heart is”

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

The first and only time I came across this quote was some years ago while watching the Hillary Duff movie “Cinderella Story”. I don’t even remember much of the plot of the movie but I have never forgotten the quote.

This week, I touched a milestone and found myself reminiscing on the fears I had to overcome to get to it. Today, I will be listing some of these fears  and telling why I have no regrets in moving past them.

  1. I feared losing my best friend: I eventually lost my best friend despite all I did to prevent it but you know what? I survived! While in the process of learning to come back from the abyss of emotional despair, I picked up a few lessons. Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay, some are just to teach you lessons and go. That was the role of my best friend. I also learned who were the persons in my life I could lean on for support.

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The Subject of Crying

Maybe no one told you that there was strength in your tears. – Kelly Clarkson

I used to be one of those females who believed that crying was a sign of weakness. Well, it should be the flip as crying doesn’t show that you are weak but rather that you have strength. It takes strength to show others that you are vulnerable. One of the things that have really struck me is that although tears show considerable strength, we tend to apologize anytime we become emotional in the presence of a group or others – especially if we don’t know them well. I had to ask myself: ” Why do we do that?  Why is it not okay to become emotional whenever we want?”

Here are a few reasons why tears, whether in public or private, are okay.

  1. Tears enable us to get in touch with our deepest feelings. Unless you’re putting on a really good act, eating onions, or acting in a movie scene, tears express the rawest emotions within. We have all had moments when a really amazing gift or gesture had brought tears to our eyes. We cry when we share moments of great elation with others. There are many times, I’ve laughed until I began crying. Tears are also an expression of grief at endings or the loss of those who are precious to us.

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Lift them cheeks. Show some teeth

Today I want to talk about one of my most favorite things to do in the whole world… If you said or thought  “SMILING” then you are most definitely correct! Whether a full or half smile, I just can’t seem to help myself! I just love to smile and you know what? This inability to stop this ability comes with the most amazing benefits.

  1. Smiling makes you more approachable People generally avoid strangers but if they need help, they are more likely to approach a person who looks nice and approachable. Studies have found that people are more willing to engage socially with others who are smiling. A smile is an inviting facial expression that tells people you are willing to talk and interact with them.
  1. Smiling improves your mood I’ve had cases where I started my day badly and even though I don’t feel like it, I put on a smile. You would be amazed at how many persons will respond to a smile and “good morning”. Within the 20 minutes it takes me to get to work, I begin to feel a lot better and my smile becomes totally genuine! This is because endorphins (endorphins are the same chemicals you get from working out or running, resulting in what is known as a runner’s high) released lift your mood.

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Lessons to live by

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Recently, while browsing Amazon for free books to add to my Kindle, I came across a couple of book titles by SJ McCoy that perfectly titled some of my philosophies in life. See the list below and the reasons why I believe you should make them your life philosophies as well.

  1. Love like you have never been hurt. Getting hurt stinks royally, that much I can attest to 100%. What stinks even more is when your inability to forgive the person who hurt you prevents you from getting and giving the love you deserve. Don’t let someone who callously hurt you in the past have a hold in your future because you can’t forgive him/her. The best revenge is to forgive, accept the lessons learnt then go ahead and find someone and love like you have never been hurt!
  1. Dance like nobody’s watching. I’m sure we have all watched that movie or seen a video where there is just that one guy/girl who is insecure about being themselves but then gets drunk and let loose (Katy Perry’s Last Friday night comes to mind). Don’t need a “MUST GET DRUNK” policy to loosen up. Learn to have fun. Be silly, be you. There is only one you and there certainly will never be another like you so be who you are and not who you think people want you to be.

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Project Sexy!

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Nothing boosts your ego like you stepping out of the house feeling that on the SEXY SCALE of 1-10 you rate a 11 for FREAKING HOT! And an added bonus to make your inner goddess don her stiletto boots and do a strut with an extra swing in her hips (borrowing the Ana Steele slang) is when the opposite sex not only notices but acknowledges it. Personally, although I hate the “Psssssstttt” tire-blown sound and won’t openly acknowledge it, sometimes I can’t help producing an inner grin as my inner goddess gives herself a high-five.

Later that night you return home, scrub the makeup off, take down your hair and if you have natural hair like me, you don a satin wrap. Next you kick off the stiletto boots and put on your favourite night-shirt (especially if it’s a hot summer night). Now as your inner goddess curls up on the couch and stretches, you flash a “I know something you don’t” smile and take a selfie. Within an hour, you have garnered over 100 likes.

Two different personas. One person. But they both have something in common. CONFIDENCE. Marcus Garvey is known for saying “If you don’t have confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” While he is right and I do power through my general life on this quote, for this post I say “If you ain’t got confidence in self, then your sexy is worth nothing.” Confidence is a vital point in selling the sexy product. It is the fuel needed to drive the car. In essence you have to believe it in order to achieve it.

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