Je Ne Regrette Rien! (I Don’t Regret Anything!)


I sat at my desk working while listening music and the strangest thing happened! James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful started playing and immediately I had a flashback concerning my ex that left me with the hugest grin on my face.

It was two weeks before my 18th birthday at 2am. We were up on the phone again after I had weaseled him into staying up, for the third night in a row. I still can’t believe how he always yielded to me. This time, he was the one asking me to do something. He wanted me to sing him something before we headed to bed. I refused as a plan formulated in my head. The next morning, as I headed off to school, I called him and sang him a rendition of “You’re Beautiful.”

In the early stages of the last few years, my brain focused on the ugly aspects of my past relationship. I was hurt and angry and so, my heart focused on all the reasons he was the enemy. I forgot our good times and the lessons these experiences taught me. Here are a few lessons these better moments taught me:

  1. He gave me my first impromptu driving lesson although, I didn’t get far before he started yelling at me to turn the wheel correctly and I yelled back. That was my first and last lesson from him but it taught me the importance of helping your partner in anyway you can. This means that you should always be open to teaching your partner because neither will know everything.
  2. The first time we met, he tried to flirt with me but called me the wrong name. I ignored him. Later in the day, being the tomboy I was, I climbed up to a cliff only to realize that I couldn’t get down by myself. He ended up being the one to lift me down. That bit of kindness opened my mind to him. This taught me the importance of being careful of how you treat people. You never know when you will need their help.
  3. Continue reading

Relationship Security should be the New Rage

I had a conversation with one of my best friends the other day. During this conversation we touched briefly on the fact that while I was heading towards broke, he was at broke. When I heard, I had no qualms or reservations about offering my aid until he got paid. What struck me was his reply, “No man, I’m good. *Name of fiancée* has got me.”
You can just imagine my wide-eyed response. I was shocked! I found myself musing over that response for a few days and even now I am still shocked by it.

I have always said that I would never choose a partner on the basis of his wealth. In fact, I can honestly say that I find the idea of gold-digging quite distasteful. Having a partner who you know has you locked spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially, if needed or he/she wants to, should be the rage.

Continue reading

He Will Help You Choose.

I was having a conversation with a friend last night. Somewhere along the way we started discussing times when we have discovered that persons we considered friends were otherwise. My mind replayed the conversation as I sat in bed, reflecting. The Lord brought back to memory something that I had read the previous night during my Bible study. I opened my Bible app and as I reviewed the scripture He gave me a new perspective.

When anyone remember Gideon, we remember the story of the fearful man who, though he doubted, God used along with 300 men to deliver Israel from the Midianities. Many times we overlook the process it took to get to that victory. There was something integral in that process. A choice had to be made.

When it was up to Gideon, he chose the strongest and the greatest of numbers to go to war. Remember, these were men who would be expected to watch his back in the heat of battle. These would have been the ones he expected not to desert him in the midst of a crisis and a tense stand-off. The men Gideon ended up with would need to be ones he thought he could depend on.

Continue reading

Two Types of Men

image

I’ve heard people speak of waiting to find their Boaz. For those who don’t know what I am talking about… Boaz is the Prince Charming who basically took Ruth from the Bible out of poverty and before that, allowed her to collect the excess crop left behind in the field). It is almost like the first Cinderella story. Maybe that is what sparked the Brothers Grimm’s imagination.

Anyways that’s not what I am getting into. I find Joseph, the man whose lineage resulted in Jesus being born within the tribe of Judah, more interesting. For those who don’t know Joseph happens to be a descendant of Boaz. Now Joseph is a man who demonstrated steadfastness and dependability. He also exhibited his devotion to God by taking on what many in today’s society would have termed a “jacket” although he was not rich. Despite this, he carried out his purpose without murmuring and showed his dedication to his wife, Mary, and his child by uprooting his life in Nazareth and moving all the way to Egypt when the child’s life is threatened.

Continue reading

Project Sexy!

images

Nothing boosts your ego like you stepping out of the house feeling that on the SEXY SCALE of 1-10 you rate a 11 for FREAKING HOT! And an added bonus to make your inner goddess don her stiletto boots and do a strut with an extra swing in her hips (borrowing the Ana Steele slang) is when the opposite sex not only notices but acknowledges it. Personally, although I hate the “Psssssstttt” tire-blown sound and won’t openly acknowledge it, sometimes I can’t help producing an inner grin as my inner goddess gives herself a high-five.

Later that night you return home, scrub the makeup off, take down your hair and if you have natural hair like me, you don a satin wrap. Next you kick off the stiletto boots and put on your favourite night-shirt (especially if it’s a hot summer night). Now as your inner goddess curls up on the couch and stretches, you flash a “I know something you don’t” smile and take a selfie. Within an hour, you have garnered over 100 likes.

Two different personas. One person. But they both have something in common. CONFIDENCE. Marcus Garvey is known for saying “If you don’t have confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” While he is right and I do power through my general life on this quote, for this post I say “If you ain’t got confidence in self, then your sexy is worth nothing.” Confidence is a vital point in selling the sexy product. It is the fuel needed to drive the car. In essence you have to believe it in order to achieve it.

Continue reading

Train Others How to Treat You!

After reading Steve Harvey’s  “Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man“, I decided to make some drastic changes in my life. Some of the lessons that Steve pointed out can be exercised in both your relationships and your day-to-day lives. One of the concepts that struck my heart was “Train Others How to Treat You”.

Perhaps we have all been to that point in our lives where we have had a lapse of judgement because we found a significant other who made our hearts do “bum-flicks” (aka cartwheels). Before we know it, we find ourselves compromising our beliefs and instead of being treated like the kings/queens we are, we are treated as though our affection and sacrifices made are worthless.

In hindsight, when we look back at our behaviors, we realize that we have no one to blame but ourselves because we never taught that significant other how to treat us. We never set any standards and demanded that they be met, we just gave and never asked for anything in return. Can we then wonder why we never got the respect we deserved? Can we wonder why our sacrifices were never appreciated? Continue reading